Best+Friends

=Chapter 1: An Invitation to a Birthday Party= My first impression was shaped by the following combination of quotes on the first page of the chapter: //"My daughter's twelfth-birthday was a nightmare . . . My daughter, Joanna, now sixteen, has long forgotten that party."// (3) I think this combination puts the wrong message in the head of the reader. I think the intent is to reassure the (presumably) adult reading the book that many times these Huge Issues we see amongst children aren't truly all that spectacular, but the effect is to predispose the reader to minimize the impact of actual Huge Issues.

On the other hand, Dr. Thompson's reminder that, //"Being a parent means being helpless a lot of the time,"// (7) serves as an excellent reminder of where many of our parents are coming from when it comes to how they deal with us and the social/academic world presented to their children by North Shore.

Quotes from Chapter 1

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=Chapter 2: Family Matters= Again, I plan to start with a complaint, or a perhaps a question. When discussing family and the importance of attachment, why does Dr. Thompson completely ignore any impact that an older sibling may have on a younger child's ability to attach? When observing my own boys, there is little doubt that my younger son is learning __tons__ from his big brother about how to behave socially. Nor is there any doubt that he has formed a deep attachment to his older brother. I'm concerned that he leaves this out because it may serve to support the views of Judith Harris, //"parents don't socialize children; children socialize children."// (17) While I don't mean to say that Dr. Thompson's analysis of the importance of a child's attachment to her parents is wrong, I wonder if maybe he threw the baby out with the bath water (pun completely intended).

The one piece that I find most heartening, and in fact most important in this chapter comes from, "//the world is basically a safe and nurturing place."// (25) In a media-crazed world where "if it leads, it bleeds," I am comforted to know that Dr. Thompson approaches this book with what I find to be an under subscribed world view. Quotes from Chapter 2 1182210336

=Chapter 3: Children and Friendship, A Developmental Tool= As the title of this chapter indicates, this is a survey of what friendship looks like at various stages of development. Overall, I found this chapter to be more interesting as a parent than as a teacher, providing a sort of road map to the stages of social development that I can anticipate my children experiencing. I was most intrigued by the description of how teen-aged friends communicate with each other about their home lives, using such discussions as a way to achieve independence from their family lives. I wonder how much of this is true about a teen's need to separate from her school, as well.

Quotes from Chapter 3 1182995166

=**Chapter 4 – When Kids Have Best Friends**= This chapter is a précis of all that goes well for kids who make solid contact with at least one friend. For parents, Dr. Thomson reminds us that, //“Some children are comfortable and satisfied with a single, intimate friend. . .Other children regard a wide circle of companions as their close and intimate connections.”// (63) A friend can help form a bridge between family and society, helping one //“to see oneself through the other’s eyes.”// (65) They also teach each other about societal norms: //“Good friends teach each other through example, through collaboration, and through conflict.”// (67) The laundry list of what good friends provide each other is varied and demonstrates their intense value to one another:
 * Friends provide loyalty
 * Friends help children grow wings
 * Friendship can compensate for lacks in a child’s life
 * Close friends hold each other in mind
 * Friendship keeps children connected

(68-71)

Just from these benefits, a teacher can see how a friend (or the lack of) can impact a student’s performance at school. Quotes from Chapter 4 1184349045